I Was In the Hospital

I went to see Dr. Endocrine and he put me in the hospital for immediate I.V. insulin.  Because of my medical history, insulin is going to be the best way for me to control my diabetes for the duration of my pregnancy.  I was there for about 40 hours, including two nights – not bad, really.  I spent the first night on the I.V. drip with insulin pump so they could get a base-line for my insulin needs and by mid-morning they were giving me shots of insulin.

The stay wasn’t scary because my providers, including Dr. Endocrine and the hospital nursing staff, were attentive and for the most part willing to work with me by explaining procedures and remaining positive for me.  Personally, I need providers who are like that; some people don’t care, but I do.

The stay did make me nervous at some points.  The anticipation of my experience and the fact that I had not been expecting a hospital stay made me a wreck at first!  Getting to the hospital was an exercise in not lashing out my husband out of misplaced fear.  At the clinic, my BP was 114/73 (booyah self doubt!) but by admission the systolic part had jumped to 153 – yikes! After I settled into my room, I was doing better and even fell asleep rather early and easily, despite the fact that there was someone checking my blood glucose every hour on the hour.  I guess the stress had exhausted me.  Well, by 2 a.m. I was no longer actually upset and sadly, no longer mentally spent.  After that finger-stick, I couldn’t sleep for the better part of two hours!  I tried repositioning myself (not easy with the I.V.) and tried watching T.V. and tried counting sheep – nothing seemed to work!  I finally got to sleep, only to be woken up by a phlebotomist at a little after 4 who needed to draw blood.  Good grief!

Like I said earlier, Wednesday morning, I was already off the I.V. pump.  I just had to sit tight while they continued to monitor my B.G. and stick insulin in me.  The day went by quickly – I was smart and packed 2 books, blank paper and my laptop (which really couldn’t catch the wifi – boo!).  My husband even came over and we played card games.  I had this long phone conversation with my mom.

As I was getting ready for bed, I got a phone call from my sister, Star.  I hadn’t wanted to tell her right away about the pregnancy because I was so scared about these first few weeks and I knew I’d see her at Thanksgiving.  I figured I’d tell her and my mom then, and afterward call my younger half-sisters (they live a few states away) and tell them, too.  After that, I figured it would be safe to let it be public knowledge and I’d tell people and let my mom tell people as it came up – I’m even thinking of doing a Christmas card just for this reason.  But that first weekend that I knew, I got so excited that I threw caution to the wind and told my mom and then I wanted my mom to have someone (other than me) to talk about the news with, so I told my sister. Well, Star was calling to tell me that she told my little sisters, even though she understood that it was something I wanted to share in my own time.  I kept trying to tell myself that she was excited too and didn’t completely understand the position I was in, but it was really frustrating.  I’ve mostly gotten over the initial frustration and anger now, but man I still don’t know if I can talk to her.  Sometimes she gets immaturely impulsive and I hate it.  We’ll be okay though.

Despite that, I slept fairly well and by 8 a.m. they were telling me that I was going to get out that day.  Now I’m injecting myself 4 times a day and checking my blood glucose carefully – whatever I need to do to stay a free woman.

Thursday evening I went to volunteer as I usually do with a Childbirth education course that the doula group sponsors.  They’re wonderful and inspiring women: the future moms and doulas, both.  I don’t do much: set up snack and help fill out forms, but being there was what I needed for normalcy, especially because I wasn’t ready to go back to work the next day.

Friday was good.  I slept in (FINALLY!) and made myself breakfast and didn’t go to work.  I  had a sono appointment at the ob/gyn group.  It went well.  (Please providers, there is no excuse during non-emergency procedures and testing that you can’t look your patient in the eye and introduce yourself!)  I got this:

They’re trying to date me two days later than we’d originally expected, which is fine by me.  There was a strong little heartbeat.  ❤

I don’t know what the rest of my pregnancy and motherhood have in store for me, but seeing this just gives me a light heart.  It fortifies me.