Make It Work

26 Jan

Well, it looks like I’m stuck with the MFM I was initially referred to.  This is partly due to reluctant-tones coming from the medical assistant, partly due to me just giving in to the inevitable and realizing I was being a bit overdramatic about the situation.

I look back on it, and while I still feel like the office is not being accommodating, I have to realize, they’re not accommodating anyone but themselves, so I can suck it up.  And while it may be inconvenient, I’m lucky because I do have paid time off available, I have my own transportation, and that I make enough(-ish) money to pay for doctor’s visits.

I feel a bit silly for getting so worked up, but I still feel that the suggestion that I should go in for a non-emergency appointment “today” was ludicrous, so it balances.  I want respect, but to get it, I need to not present myself as crazy.

I also find that my need to get names from the staff I interact with is really important.  I may be suck at remembering them, but I’ll remember whether I heard a name or not.  That’s definitely going in my birth plan: all hospital personnel entering this room must introduce themselves by name and purpose.  I put up walls with “strangers” – it makes sense as an instinctive defense, but to not be able to turn it “off” means I have to find another way to make myself at ease.

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