Already frustrated with the MFM

26 Jan

My mood this morning: frustrated.

At my prenatal visit yesterday, Dr. V. finally said that she was officially referring me to an MFM – a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist (also known as Perinatologist). She also wants to see me again next week.

*Grumble grumble* I have a life outside this pregnancy. It costs money for me to take off work (or vacation time). It costs gas money (with gas consistently at $3 here) to get to appointments (and if I took the bus, then I’d lose more work-time). It causes me stress and disruption of my daily schedule, which for the sake of my anxiety and my health, is really fucking important that I stick to. So I’m not happy that I won’t ever get a break between visits. Fuck you What to Expect When You’re Expecting – I won’t see the doctor once a month, I see a doctor at least once a week. *sigh*

So I honestly was disappointed that I would see Dr. V. again so soon, but I figured that it was to be expected and that I should take it in stride. Besides once a week isn’t bad…

Well, the receptionist from a MFM’s office called this morning. I missed the phone call yesterday afternoon because my phone was on silent.  She wants me to come in for a “class” – TODAY. Um, no? I understand the pressing urgency of my pregnancy and the need for diabetic control and monitoring, but seriously, even if I had actually received her call yesterday, what makes you think that 24 hours is enough time to notify someone that they have to take off work for a educational office visit that is “just 2 to 3 hours…” Yeah, factor in travel time out to that area, plus getting there early for patient registration… We’re talking 4.5 hours of time! Out of their minds. It becomes increasingly apparent that the medical office staff members I’ve encountered have lost perspective that their reality isn’t everyone’s. What if I had limited transportation? Or was a stay-at-home-mom to non-school-aged kids? They don’t offer this class at any other time. Just Wednesdays at 12:45. Really?

I was PISSED. It felt like once again, my life outside of being an incubator for my child has become unimportant. All this modern literature on parenthood focuses on the fact that you can be a mom and work and have a social life (to some extent), but I’m already clued in to the reality that that “fact” is really friggin hard to achieve.

I love my baby. And I want to give her the best. But I also have to provide for her and myself monetarily. And I have to stay sane.

*BIG EXAGGERATED SIGH* Okay, rage-y, frustrated moment is over. The baby is apparently having play time, so I don’t want to let her feel my frustration.  It’s time to be PROACTIVE!Salty Mama!

My Proactive!Salty Mama Plan:

  • Get a hold of Dr. V. or one of her medical assistants so that I can try to get a referral that will work for me.  I’ve already called and left a message.
  • Failing that, arrange to take off for the class next week and call to for a possible reschedule with Dr. V. for later in the week.  (Since she’ll want to know how I’m doing with the MFM I’m sure.)
  • Failing a reschedule for Dr. V., suck it up and take the paid time off.  There’s no way that I’ll be able to come in early and stay late enough to make up time for two appointments.  Also ask if we can figure out a schedule of appointments (every other week, once a month for the next two months?).
  • At MFM appointment/class, ask about telemedicine/electronic monitoring options where I can avoid extraneous office visits by faxing or calling in numbers or checking in via phone or email.  I will gladly pay/ask my insurance to pay for these “appointments” so long as I can avoid taking off from work just to sit in an office for an hour to see the doc for 12 minutes.
  • Get notes from Dr. V. and possible MFM to confirm that I am under their care.  When I see Dr. Endocrine, ask if I can delay extra visits with him for awhile if indeed MFM will be monitoring my diabetic care.  Get scripts for strips and insulin ANYWAY, just in case I experience a gap between MFM and returning to regular diabetic-endocrinology care.

4 Responses to “Already frustrated with the MFM”

  1. Nicole February 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm #

    Have you been at your job to get FML (Family Medical Leave Act)? Your diabetes is enough of a medical reason/condition to qualify you, and that way time off wouldn’t come out of your personal/vacation time.

    • Nicole February 3, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

      Whoops. That should read: Have you been at your job *for a long enough period* to get FML

      • andapinchofsalt February 5, 2011 at 10:56 am #

        I’ve been with my company (my job title and F/T status changed in November) for long enough. The problem with that is that FMLA will only protect my job and technically I can only use it for up to 90 days in a 12 month period. The way I understand it, I kinda have to “save” it if I want to be able to take the longest amount of leave when the baby is due. I could apply for the FMLA leave but I’d still have to use sick leave hours to cover my pay.

        I’m going to make an appointment with HR soon because these doctor visits are getting out of hand and I need to make sure my bases are covered.

  2. Nicole February 6, 2011 at 1:58 am #

    It’s been quite a few years since I’ve used FMLA, some things have probably changed. I remember now that I had to use sick leave for a certain number of hours, but then I could choose whether I wanted to use sick leave or unpaid FMLA leave for the remainder of however long I was out. It definitely saves you the hassle of having to bring a dr. note each time you’re out sick. And, as you mentioned, the biggest one – job security when you have a boat-load of appointments.

    I’m glad you’re going to talk to HR about it. I’m sure one or all your doctors will sign the paperwork for you.

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