I’m Getting A Little Too Good at Deflection

16 Nov

I lied yesterday. I didn’t straight-out tell someone that I wasn’t pregnant, but I continued the conversation in a way that made her believe otherwise.

The person I deceived: my mother-in-law.

I feel HORRIBLE! She got me in a chat on Facebook and one moment it’s, “hey, did you see those vacation photos so-and-so put up?” and the next it was, “so when are you and the hubby going to have babies?” There was a chirping cricket moment there and I replied, “one of these days…”

The problem is, I’m not even sure why I’m don’t want to tell my in-laws yet. Most of my close friends know. It’s not like she’d run and tell someone at my job (I’m still trying to decide how to delicately tell one of my department chairs that not only was I aware that I was pregnant while we were talking about the full-time status, I’m also likely to be on maternity leave during the most hectic days of the Fall semester.) I’m not even worried about losing this pregnancy – there’s always a chance, but I’m not worried about it like I was in the first few weeks.

I just don’t want to share with them at this point.

Honestly, at this point I’m not sharing because I’m worried that my filter-less father-in-law is going to say something stupid. Believe me, he does that A LOT.  And I’ve got thin skin and wear my emotions on my sleeve.  It never goes over well.

That doesn’t excuse me from telling the truth.  I could have given her a fully honest answer.  Now, I can’t take it back.  I cannot redo that conversation. I will live with the guilt for a few more days, and then when we tell them this weekend, I will probably feel a bit of shame, too. It’s not that bad.  I will live and now that I’ve gotten it off my back, I can mentally move.  Hopefully she won’t feel hurt.

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